Arranged Marriage in Islam

Summary:

There is a growing resistance to arranged marriages. However, this opposition is against the traditions of Allah^-azwj and His^-azwj Prophets^-as, as we will read in the following sections. The overall topic of Marriage is rather vast and is addressed elsewhere, e.g.,

https://hubeali.com/latest-update/first-cousin-marriage-in-islam

https://hubeali.com/article/family-life-nikah-mutah-relationship-and-upbringing-children

https://hubeali.com/article/family-problems-and-guidance-from-islam

Court Marriage in Islam | Hubeali

Marriage of Syedani with Non Syed | Hubeali

Here, we confine our attention to prevailing practices among Muslims, in general, and among Twelve Imami Shias in particular, in opposition to traditions regarding the marriage proposal and choosing a husband, to be, for a daughter or sister.

General Muslims quote from Rasool Allah^-saww: ‘Go and look at her, because that is more likely to create love between you.’[1]–[2] Shia Mujtahids have also issued Fatawa in favour of the above, misinterpreting those Ahadith that are exclusively for the buying of a maid, e.g., to look at her before you spend money on her purchase, see Appendix I.  Meeting and socialising of the man and woman seeking marriage is the prevailing tradition in the Western society which Muslims, unfortunately Shias have started following and is becoming norm to have premarriage meetings!

The Sunnah of earlier Prophets^-as and Ahl Al-Byat^-asws has been to respect the integrity of a lady and be foremost in respecting her honour and self-esteem, e.g.,

‘Whenever Rasool Allah^-saww intended to marry an unknown woman, Prophet^-saww sent over a woman to look at her (Hadith to follow).^[3]

Imam Musa^-asws Ibn Jafar^-asws (7^th Imam) said: ‘As for the free ones (from women), so you should not be mentioning them (in public). An extract, Hadith to follow.^[4]

Premarriage socialising is also forbidden in Islam, e.g.,

لي، الأمالي للصدوق فِي خَبَرِ الْمَنَاهِي‏ أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ ص نَهَى أَنْ تَتَكَلَّمَ الْمَرْأَةُ عِنْدَ غَيْرِ زَوْجِهَا وَ غَيْرِ ذِي مَحْرَمٍ مِنْهَا أَكْثَرَ مِنْ خَمْسِ كَلِمَاتٍ مِمَّا لَا بُدَّ لَهَا مِنْهُ.

(The book) ‘Al Amaali’ of Al Sadouq –

In a Hadeeth of the prohibitions, the Rasool Allah^-saww prohibited the woman from talking in the present of (Na-Mahram) other than her husband and Na-Mahram (non-sanctimonious ones) more than five phrases, from what there is no escape for her from (speaking) it (under absolute necessity)’.^[5]

وَ فِي رِوَايَةِ أَبِي الْجَارُودِ عَنْ أَبِي جَعْفَرٍ ع‏ فِي قَوْلِهِ‏ وَ لا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا ما ظَهَرَ مِنْها فَهِيَ الثِّيَابُ وَ الْكُحْلُ وَ الْخَاتَمُ وَ خِضَابُ الْكَفِّ وَ السِّوَارُ

And in a report by Abu Al Jaroud –

From Abu Ja’far^-asws regarding His^-azwj Words: and not to display their adornments except what is apparent from these [24:31]: ‘If it is the garment and the Kohl, and the ring (hand), and dying the hand, and bangles (arms); (an extract).^[6]

Islam, however, does not allow a forced marriage, according to Ahadith, to follow.

How did the linage of Prophet^-saww Start?

In a lengthy Hadith, ‘Abu Abdullah^-asws (6^th Imam^-asws) was asked about the beginning of the offspring of Adam^-as, ‘How it happened, and about the beginning of the lineage from the offspring of Adam^-as.

(The narrator said) For some people around us are saying, ‘Allah^-azwj Revealed to Adam^-as to get his^-as daughters married to his^-as sons, and that these people (of today), all of them, have their origin from the brothers and the sisters’ (Nouzobillah).

ثُمَّ أَنْشَأَ يُحَدِّثُنَا كَيْفَ كَانَ بَدْءُ النَّسْلِ فَقَالَ إِنَّ آدَمَ ص وُلِدَ لَهُ سَبْعُونَ بَطْناً فَلَمَّا قَتَلَ قَابِيلُ هَابِيلَ جَزِعَ جَزَعاً قَطَعَهُ عَنْ إِتْيَانِ النِّسَاءِ فَبَقِيَ لَا يَسْتَطِيعُ أَنْ‏ يَغْشَى حَوَّاءَ خَمْسَمِائَةِ سَنَةٍ

Then Imam^-asws (Abu Abdullah) started narrating to us the beginning of the lineage. He^-asws said: ‘For Adam^-as, seventy children were born to him^-as. When Qabeel^-la killed Habeel^-as, he (Adam^-as) panicked with severe panic that the beginning of the lineage would be terminated. He^-as remained not being able to go to Hawwa^-as for five hundred years.

ثُمَّ وَهَبَ اللَّهُ لَهُ شَيْثاً وَ هُوَ هِبَةُ اللَّهِ وَ هُوَ أَوَّلُ وَصِيٍّ أُوصِيَ إِلَيْهِ مِنْ بَنِي آدَمَ فِي الْأَرْضِ ثُمَّ وَرَاهُ [وُلِدَ لَهُ‏] بَعْدَهُ يَافِثُ

Then Allah^-azwj Gifted him^-as Shees^-as, and he^-as is (known as) ‘Hibtullah’, and he^-as is the first successor from the sons of Adam^-as bequeathed to in the earth. Then after him^-as Yafis^-as was born.

فَلَمَّا أَدْرَكَا وَ أَرَادَ اللَّهُ أَنْ يُبْلِغَ بِالنَّسْلِ مَا تَرَوْنَ أَنْزَلَ بَعْدَ الْعَصْرِ يَوْمَ الْخَمِيسِ حَوْرَاءَ مِنَ الْجَنَّةِ اسْمُهَا نَزْلَةُ فَأَمَرَ اللَّهُ أَنْ يُزَوِّجَهَا مِنْ شَيْثٍ

When they^-as both matured and Allah^-azwj Wanted to reach with the lineage what you are seeing (today), Allah^-azwj Sent down a Houri from the Paradise after Al-Asr on the day of Thursday, her name was ‘Nazlah’. Allah^-azwj Commanded that he^-as (Prophet Adam) should get her married to Shees^-as.

ثُمَّ أَنْزَلَ اللَّهُ بَعْدَ الْعَصْرِ مِنَ الْغَدِ حَوْرَاءَ مِنَ الْجَنَّةِ اسْمُهَا مَنْزِلَةُ فَأَمَرَ اللَّهُ آدَمَ أَنْ يُزَوِّجَهَا مِنْ يَافِثَ فَزَوَّجَهَا مِنْهُ فَوُلِدَ لِشَيْثٍ غُلَامٌ وَ لِيَافِثَ جَارِيَةٌ فَأَمَرَ اللَّهُ آدَمَ ع حِينَ أَدْرَكَا أَنْ يُزَوِّجَ بِنْتَ يَافِثَ مِنِ ابْنِ شَيْثٍ

Then Allah^-azwj Sent down the next day after Al-Asr a Hourie from the Paradise, her name was ‘Manzilah’. Allah^-azwj Commanded Adam^-as to get her married to Yafis^-as. He^-as married her to him^-as. A boy was born to Shees^-as and a girl to Yafis^-as. Allah^-azwj Commanded Adam^-as when they mature, so he^-as should get the daughter of Yafis^-as to the son of Shees^-as.

فَفَعَلَ فَوُلِدَ الصَّفْوَةُ مِنَ النَّبِيِّينَ وَ الْمُرْسَلِينَ مِنْ نَسْلِهِمَا وَ مَعَاذَ اللَّهِ أَنْ يَكُونَ ذَلِكَ مَا قَالُوهُ مِنَ الْإِخْوَةِ وَ الْأَخَوَاتِ وَ مَنَاكِحِهِمَا

He^-as did that, so the elites from the Prophets^-as and the Messengers^-as, and Allah^-azwj Forbid that it should be what they are saying, from the brothers and the sisters and their marriages’.  (an extract)^[7]

Allah^-azwj Commanded Prophet Yusuf^-as to marry Zuleykha:

 أَخْبَرَنَا هِبَةُ اللَّهِ بْنُ دعويدار عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ الدُّورْيَسْتِيِّ عَنْ جَعْفَرِ بْنِ أَحْمَدَ الْمَرِيسِيِّ عَنِ ابْنِ بَابَوَيْهِ عَنْ جَعْفَرِ بْنِ عَلِيٍّ عَنْ أَبِيهِ عَنْ جَدِّهِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ الْمُغِيرَةِ عَمَّنْ ذَكَرَهُ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ص قَالَ: اسْتَأْذَنَتْ زَلِيخَا عَلَى يُوسُفَ فَقِيلَ لَهَا إِنَّا نَخَافُ بِقَدَمٍ‏ أَنْ تَقْدَمِي عَلَيْهِ لِمَا كَانَ مِنْكِ

We are informed by Hibtullah Bin Daweydar, from Abu Abdullah Al Doroweysti, from Ja’far Bin Ahmad Al Mareysi, from Ibn Babuwayh, from Ja’far Bin Ali, from his father, from his grandfather Abdullah Bin Al Mugheira, from the one who mentioned it,

From Abu Abdullah^-asws Zuleykha sought permission to see Yusuf^-as. It was said to her, ‘We fear to send you ahead to him^-as due to what has happened from you!’

قَالَتْ أَنَا لَا أَخَافُ مَنْ يَخَافُ اللَّهَ

She said, ‘I do not fear from the one who fears Allah^-azwj!’

فَلَمَّا دَخَلَتْ عَلَيْهِ قَالَ لَهَا يَا زَلِيخَا مَا لِي أَرَاكِ قَدْ تَغَيَّرَ لَوْنُكِ

When she entered to see him^-as, he^-as said to her: ‘O Zuleykha! What is the matter I see your complexion to have changed?’

قَالَتْ الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ الَّذِي جَعَلَ الْمُلُوكَ بِمَعْصِيَتِهِمْ عَبِيداً وَ جَعَلَ الْعَبِيدَ بِطَاعَتِهِمْ مُلُوكاً

She said, ‘The Praise is for Allah^-azwj Who Made the kings to be slaves due to their disobedience, and Made the slaves to be kings due to their obedience!’

قَالَ لَهَا مَا الَّذِي دَعَاكِ إِلَى مَا كَانَ مِنْكِ

He^-as said to her: ‘What is that which called you to what had happened from you?’

قَالَتْ حُسْنُ وَجْهِكَ يَا يُوسُفُ

She said, ‘Your^-as handsome face, O Yusuf^-as!’

قَالَ فَكَيْفَ لَوْ رَأَيْتِ نَبِيّاً يُقَالُ لَهُ مُحَمَّدٌ ص يَكُونُ فِي آخِرِ الزَّمَانِ يَكُونُ أَحْسَنَ مِنِّي وَجْهاً وَ أَحْسَنَ مِنِّي خُلُقاً وَ أَسْمَحَ مِنِّي كَفّاً

He^-as said: ‘How would it be if you were to see a Prophet called Muhammad^-saww? He^-saww would be in the end of times. He^-saww is more handsome than me^-as of face and more excellent than me^-as in manners, and more generous than me^-as of hand (giving)!’

قَالَتْ صَدَقْتَ

She said, ‘You^-as speak the truth’.

قَالَ فَكَيْفَ عَلِمْتِ أَنِّي صَدَقْتُ

He^-as said: ‘How did you know I^-as spoke the truth?’

قَالَتْ لِأَنَّكَ حِينَ ذَكَرْتَهُ وَقَعَ حُبُّهُ فِي قَلْبِي

She said, ‘Because when you^-as mentioned him^-as, love for him^-saww occurred in my heart!’

فَأَوْحَى اللَّهُ تَعَالَى إِلَى يُوسُفَ أَنَّهَا صَدَقَتْ أَنِّي قَدْ أَحْبَبْتُهَا لِحُبِّهَا مُحَمَّداً ص فَأَمَرَهُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى أَنْ‏ يَتَزَوَّجَهَا

Allah^-azwj the Exalted Revealed to Yusuf^-as: She speaks the truth! Her love for Muhammad^-saww has led Me^-azwj to love her!” Allah^-azwj the Exalted Commanded him^-as to marry her.^[8]

Allah^-azwj Married Imam Ali^-asws with Syeda^-asws in the Heavens:

Allah^-azwj first married Imam Ali^-asws with Syeda^-asws in the Heavens and then Commanded His^-azwj Prophet^-saww to do the same on the earth, see for example:

وَ مِنَ الْمَنَاقِبِ، عَنْ عَلِيٍّ ع قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ص‏ أَتَانِي مَلَكٌ فَقَالَ يَا مُحَمَّدُ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ يَقْرَأُ عَلَيْكَ السَّلَامَ وَ يَقُولُ قَدْ زَوَّجْتُ فَاطِمَةَ مِنْ عَلِيٍّ فَزَوِّجْهَا مِنْهُ وَ قَدْ أَمَرْتُ شَجَرَةَ طُوبَى أَنْ تَحْمِلَ الدُّرَّ وَ الْيَاقُوتَ وَ الْمَرْجَانَ وَ إِنَّ أَهْلَ السَّمَاءِ قَدْ فَرِحُوا لِذَلِكَ وَ سَيُولَدُ مِنْهُمَا وَلَدَانِ سَيِّدَا شَبَابِ أَهْلِ الْجَنَّةِ وَ بِهِمَا يُزَيَّنُ الْجَنَّةُ فَأَبْشِرْ يَا مُحَمَّدُ فَإِنَّكَ خَيْرُ الْأَوَّلِينَ وَ الْآخِرِينَ

And from (the book) ‘Al-Manaqib’ –

‘From Ali^-asws having said: ‘Rasool-Allah^-saww said: ‘An Angel came to me^-saww. He said, ‘O Muhammad^-saww! Allah^-azwj Mighty and Majestic Conveys the greetings unto you^-saww and Says: “I^-azwj have got (Syeda) Fatima^-asws married to Ali^-asws, so get her^-asws married to him^-asws (on earth), and I^-azwj have Commanded the Tooba tree to bear the gems, and the rubies, and the coral, and the people of the sky have rejoiced at that; and there shall be born from them^-asws, two chiefs of the youths of the inhabitants of Paradise, and by them^-asws the Paradise would be adorned. O Muhammad^-saww! Surely you^-saww as best of the former ones and the latter ones!’^[9]

وَ عَنْ جَابِرِ بْنِ سَمُرَةَ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ص‏ أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ هَذَا عَلِيُّ بْنُ أَبِي طَالِبٍ وَ أَنْتُمْ تَزْعُمُونَ أَنِّي أَنَا زَوَّجْتُهُ ابْنَتِي فَاطِمَةَ وَ لَقَدْ خَطَبَهَا إِلَيَّ أَشْرَافُ قُرَيْشٍ فَلَمْ أُجِبْ كُلَّ ذَلِكَ أَتَوَقَّعُ الْخَبَرَ مِنَ السَّمَاءِ حَتَّى جَاءَنِي جَبْرَئِيلُ لَيْلَةَ أَرْبَعٍ وَ عِشْرِينَ مِنْ شَهْرِ رَمَضَانَ

And from Jabir Bin Samurah who said,

‘Rasool-Allah^-saww said: ‘O you people! This is Ali^-asws Bin Abu Talib^-asws, and you are alleging that I^-saww married my^-asws daughter^-asws to him^-asws and although the nobles of Qureys had proposed for her^-asws. But I^-saww did not answer all of them anticipating the news from the sky, until Jibraeel^-as came to me^-saww on the night of twenty-fourth of the month of Ramazan.

فَقَالَ يَا مُحَمَّدُ الْعَلِيُّ الْأَعْلَى يَقْرَأُ عَلَيْكَ السَّلَامَ وَ قَدْ جَمَعَ الرُّوحَانِيِّينَ وَ الْكَرُوبِيِّينَ فِي وَادٍ يُقَالُ لَهُ الْأَفْيَحُ تَحْتَ شَجَرَةِ طُوبَى وَ زَوَّجَ فَاطِمَةَ عَلِيّاً وَ أَمَرَنِي فَكُنْتُ الْخَاطِبَ وَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى الْوَلِيَّ

He^-as (Jibreel) said: ‘O Muhammad^-saww! The most Exalted^-azwj Conveys the Greetings to you^-saww and He^-azwj has Gathered the spirits and the cherubs (angels) in a valley called Al-Afeeh, beneath the Tooba tree, and He^-azwj got (Syeda) Fatima^-asws married to Ali^-asws, and Commanded me^-as to be the proposer, and Allah^-azwj the Exalted was the Guardian.

وَ أَمَرَ شَجَرَةَ طُوبَى فَحَمَلَتِ الْحُلِيَّ وَ الْحُلَلَ وَ الدُّرَّ وَ الْيَاقُوتَ ثُمَّ نَثَرَتْهُ وَ أَمَرَ الْحُورَ الْعِينَ فَاجْتَمَعْنَ فَلَقَطْنَ فَهُنَّ يَتَهَادَيْنَهُ إِلَى يَوْمِ الْقِيَامَةِ وَ يَقُلْنَ هَذَا نُثَارُ فَاطِمَةَ

And He^-azwj Commanded Tooba, so it bore the ornaments, and the garments, and the gems, and the rubies. Then it sprinkled. And He^-azwj Commanded the Maiden Houries to collect these. So, they picked up, and they will be gifting to each other up to the Day of Qiyamah and be saying: ‘This is from the confetti of (Syeda) Fatima^-asws’’.^[10]

Marriage within relatives:

وَ عَنِ ابْنِ بَابَوَيْهِ حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ مُوسَى بْنِ الْمُتَوَكِّلِ حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ جَعْفَرٍ الْحِمْيَرِيُّ حَدَّثَنَا أَحْمَدُ بْنُ مُحَمَّدٍ عَنِ الْحَسَنِ بْنِ مَحْبُوبٍ عَنْ إِبْرَاهِيمَ بْنِ أَبِي رَبَابٍ الْكَرْخِيِ‏ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع قَالَ: إِنَّ إِبْرَاهِيمَ ع كَانَ مَوْلِدُهُ بِكُوثَى وَ كَانَ مِنْ أَهْلِهَا وَ كَانَتْ أُمُّ إِبْرَاهِيمَ وَ أُمُّ لُوطٍ ع أُخْتَيْنِ وَ إِنَّهُ تَزَوَّجَ سَارَةَ بِنْتَ لَاحِجٍ وَ هِيَ بِنْتُ خَالَتِهِ وَ كَانَتْ صَاحِبَةَ مَاشِيَةٍ كَثِيرَةٍ وَ حَالٍ حَسَنَةٍ

And from Ibn Babuwayh, ‘It is narrated to us by Muhammad Bin Musa Bin Al Mutawakkil, ‘It is narrated to us by Abdullah Bin Ja’far Al Himeyri, ‘It is narrated to us by Ahmad Bin Muhammad, from Al-Hassan Bin Mahboub, from Ibrahim Bin Abu Rabab Al Karkhy,

From Abu Abdullah^-asws having said: ‘Ibrahim^-as, his^-as birth was at (a town called) ‘Kowsa’, and he^-as from its inhabitants, and the mother of Ibrahim^-as and the mother of Lut^-as were sisters, and Prophet Ibrahim^-as married Sarah^-as daughter of Lahij, and she^-as is a daughter of his^-as maternal aunt, and she^-as was an owner of a lot of livestock and was of a good state. (an extract)[11]

Prophet Ibrahim^-as bought his wife Hajar^-as:

In the early days, wives were also bought and marriages were established that way, see for example:

فَابْتَاعَ إِبْرَاهِيمُ ع هَاجَرَ مِنْ سَارَةَ فَوَقَعَ عَلَيْهَا فَوَلَدَتْ إِسْمَاعِيلَ ع‏

Prophet Ibrahim^-as bought Hajar^-as (who was a maid of Sarah^-as) from (his wife) Sarah^-as and had marital relations with her^-as, and she^-as was blessed with (Prophet) Ismail^-as!’^[12]

NB: The rules of marrying relatives are clearly defined by Allah^-azwj in Surah Al-Nisa:

Nisaa (Chapter 4) | Hubeali

The Case of a Na-mahram (with whom one can marry):

مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ يَحْيَى عَنْ أَحْمَدَ بْنِ مُحَمَّدٍ عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ يَحْيَى عَنْ غِيَاثِ بْنِ إِبْرَاهِيمَ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع أَنَّهُ قَالَ: لَا تُسَلِّمْ عَلَى الْمَرْأَةِ

Mohammed ibn Yahya has narrated from Ahmed ibn Mohammed from Mohammed ibn Yahya, who from Ghiyath ibn Ibrahim, who says:

Abu Abd Allah^-asws has said:  You must not offer ‘Salam’ to a (Na-Mahram) woman.^[13]

وَ نَهَى أَنْ تَتَكَلَّمَ الْمَرْأَةُ عِنْدَ غَيْرِ زَوْجِهَا وَ غَيْرِ ذِي مَحْرَمٍ مِنْهَا أَكْثَرَ مِنْ خَمْسِ كَلِمَاتٍ مِمَّا لَا بُدَّ لَهَا مِنْهُ وَ نَهَى أَنْ تُحَدِّثَ الْمَرْأَةُ بِمَا تَخْلُو بِهِ مَعَ زَوْجِهَا

In a lengthy Hadith, Rasool Allah^-saww said:

And he^-saww forbade a woman from speaking to anyone other than her husband or a Na-Mahram (being with sanctity from her) more than five phrases from what there is no escape for her from it (under absolute necessity). (an extract)^[14]

What a lady can manifest:

، قرب الإسناد هَارُونُ عَنِ ابْنِ زِيَادٍ قَالَ: سَمِعْتُ الصَّادِقَ ع عَمَّا تُظْهِرُ الْمَرْأَةُ مِنْ زِينَتِهَا فَقَالَ الْوَجْهَ وَ الْكَفَّيْنِ

(The book) ‘Qurb Al Isnaad’ – Haroun, from Ibn Ziyad who said,

‘I heard Al-Sadiq^-asws about what the woman can manifest from her adornments. He^-asws said: ‘The face and the two palms’’.^[15]

عَلِيُّ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ عَنْ أَبِيهِ عَنِ ابْنِ أَبِي عُمَيْرٍ عَنْ أَبِي أَيُّوبَ الْخَزَّازِ عَنْ أَبِي بَصِيرٍ قَالَ: قُلْتُ لِأَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع هَلْ يُصَافِحُ الرَّجُلُ الْمَرْأَةَ لَيْسَتْ بِذِي مَحْرَمٍ فَقَالَ لَا إِلَّا مِنْ وَرَاءِ الثَّوْبِ

Ali ibn Ibrahim has narrated from his father, who from ibn abu Umayr, who from abu Ayyub Al-Khazzaz, who from Abu Basir, who says:

This is regarding my question before Abu Abd Allah^-asws, if one can shake hands with women who are lawful for marriage?  He said:  No, it is not permissible except from behind the cloth.^[16]

وَ قَالَ ص‏ مَنْ صَافَحَ امْرَأَةً تَحْرُمُ عَلَيْهِ فَقَدْ باءَ بِسَخَطٍ مِنَ اللَّهِ‏ وَ مَنِ الْتَزَمَ امْرَأَةً حَرَاماً قُرِنَ فِي سِلْسِلَةٍ مِنْ نَارٍ مَعَ الشَّيْطَانِ فَيُقْذَفَانِ فِي النَّارِ

And he^-saww said: ‘One who shakes the hand of an unlawful woman will incur the Wrath of Allah^-azwj, and one who embraces an unlawful woman will be paired in a chain of fire with the Satan^-la, and they will both be thrown into the Fire’.^[17]

How did women pledge allegiance to Rasool Allah^-saww?

و عنه: عن أبي علي الأشعري، عن محمد بن عبد الجبار، عن أحمد بن إسحاق، عن سعدان بن مسلم، قال: قال أبو عبد الله (عليه السلام): «أ تدري كيف بايع رسول الله (صلى الله عليه و آله) النساء؟» قلت: الله أعلم و ابن رسوله، قال: «جمعهن حوله ثم دعا بتور برام و صب فيه نضوحا، ثم غمس يده فيه، ثم قال: اسمعن يا هؤلاء، أبايعكن على أن لا تشركن بالله شيئا، و لا تسرقن، و لا تزنين، و لا تقتلن أولادكن، و لا تأتين ببهتان تفترينه بين أيديكن و أرجلكن، و لا تعصين بعولتكن في معروف، أقررتن؟ قلن: نعم، فأخرج يده من التور ثم قال لهن: اغمسن أيديكن، ففعلن، فكانت يد رسول الله (صلى الله عليه و آله) الطاهرة أطيب من أن يمس بها كف أنثى ليست له بمحرم

And from him, from Abu Ali Al- Ash’ary, from Muhammad Bin Abdul Jabbar, from Ahmad Bin Is’haq, from Sa’dan Bin Muslim who said,

‘Abu Abdullah^-asws said: ‘Do you know how the women pledged their allegiances to Rasool Allah^-saww?’ I said, ‘Allah^-azwj Knows, and the son^-asws of His^-azwj Rasool^-saww knows’. He^-asws said: ‘They gathered around him^-saww, then he^-saww called for a container, and poured water into it, and immersed his^-saww hand in it, then said: ‘Hear me^-saww, O those who are around. You will be pledging Allegiance upon the (conditions) that you will not associate anything with Allah^‑azwj, nor will you steal, or commit adultery, nor kill your children, nor slander by forging with your hands and your feet, nor disobey me^-saww regarding the good. Do you accept?’ They said, ‘Yes’. So, he^-saww took his^-saww hand out from the container, then said to them: ‘Immerse your hands’. So, they did that’. The hand of Rasool Allah^-saww was pure, and clean from being touched by a female who was not a ‘Mahram’ to him^-saww.^[18]

The Match (Compatibility) for Marraige:

مع، معاني الأخبار أَبِي عَنْ سَعْدٍ عَنِ ابْنِ هَاشِمٍ عَنِ ابْنِ مَرَّارٍ عَنْ يُونُسَ قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي جَمَاعَةٌ مِنْ أَصْحَابِنَا عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع أَنَّهُ قَالَ: الْكُفْوُ أَنْ يَكُونَ عَفِيفاً وَ عِنْدَهُ يَسَارٌ

(The book) ‘Ma’any Al Akhbar’ – My father, from Sa’ad, from Ibn Hashim, from Ibn Marrar, from Yunus who said, ‘It is narrated to me by a group of our companions,

‘From Abu Abdullah^-asws, he^-asws said: ‘The match is that he should be chaste and there should be financial ease with him’’.^[19]

ما، الأمالي للشيخ الطوسي بِهَذَا الْإِسْنَادِ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ص‏ إِذَا جَاءَكُمْ مَنْ تَرْضَوْنَ دِينَهُ وَ أَمَانَتَهُ يَخْطُبُ إِلَيْكُمْ فَزَوِّجُوهُ‏ إِلَّا تَفْعَلُوهُ تَكُنْ فِتْنَةٌ فِي الْأَرْضِ وَ فَسادٌ كَبِيرٌ

(The book) ‘Al Amaali’ of the sheykh Al Tusi – By this chain,

He^-asws said: ‘Rasool-Allah^-saww said: ‘When there comes to you someone you are pleased with his religion, and his trustworthiness, proposing to you (of your daughter), marry to him, if you do not do it, Fitna (strife) would occur in the land and a great mischief [8:73]’’.^[20]

وَ بِإِسْنَادِهِ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ( صلى الله عليه وآله ) أَنْكِحُوا الْأَكْفَاءَ وَ انْكِحُوا فِيهِمْ وَ اخْتَارُوا لِنُطَفِكُمْ

And by his chain,

‘He^-asws said: ‘Rasool-Allah^-saww said: ‘Marry the matches and marry among them, and choose for your children (to be)’.^[21]

Supplication for a Man when he wants to get married:

مكا، مكارم الأخلاق رُوِيَ‏ أَنَّهُ سَأَلَ الصَّادِقُ ع أَبَا بَصِيرٍ إِذَا تَزَوَّجَ أَحَدُكُمْ كَيْفَ يَصْنَعُ

(The book) ‘Makarim Al-Akhlaq’ – It is reported that Al-Sadiq^-asws asked Abu Baseer: ‘When one of you gets married, how does he do it?’

قُلْتُ مَا أَدْرِي

I said, ‘I don’t know’.

قَالَ إِذَا هَمَّ بِذَلِكَ فَلْيُصَلِّ رَكْعَتَيْنِ وَ يَحْمَدِ اللَّهَ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ وَ يَقُولُ اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أُرِيدُ أَنْ أَتَزَوَّجَ اللَّهُمَّ فَقَدِّرْ لِي مِنَ النِّسَاءِ أَحْسَنَهُنَّ خُلْقاً وَ خَلْقاً وَ أَعَفَّهُنَّ فَرْجاً وَ أَحْفَظَهُنَّ لِي فِي نَفْسِهَا وَ مَالِي وَ أَوْسَعَهُنَّ رِزْقاً وَ أَعْظَمَهُنَّ بَرَكَةً وَ قَيِّضْ لِي مِنْهَا وَلَداً طَيِّباً تَجْعَلُهُ لِي خَلَفاً صَالِحاً فِي حَيَاتِي وَ بَعْدَ مَوْتِي

He^-asws said: ‘When he thinks of that, let him pray two units Salat and praise Allah^-azwj Mighty and Majestic, and he should say, ‘O Allah^-azwj, I intend to get married! O Allah^-azwj!  Determine for me from the women, their most excellent in manners and physique (appearance), and their most chaste of private parts, and their most protective for me regarding herself and my wealth, and their vastest of sustenance, and their mightiest of Blessing, and Ordain for me a good child from her. Make him a righteous successor during my lifetime and after my death!’’^[22]

الْهِدَايَةُ، إِذَا أَرَادَ الرَّجُلُ أَنْ يَتَزَوَّجَ فَلْيُصَلِّ رَكْعَتَيْنِ وَ يَرْفَعْ يَدَهُ يَسْأَلُ اللَّهَ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ وَ يَقُولُ اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أُرِيدُ أَنْ أَتَزَوَّجَ فَسَهِّلْ لِي مِنَ النِّسَاءِ أَحْسَنَهُنَّ خُلُقاً وَ أَعَفَّهُنَّ فَرْجاً وَ أَحْفَظَهُنَّ لِي فِي نَفْسِهَا وَ مَالِي وَ أَوْسَعَهُنَّ رِزْقاً وَ أَعْظَمَهُنَّ بَرَكَةً وَ قَيِّضْ لِي مِنْهَا وَلَداً تَجْعَلُهُ لِي خَلَفاً فِي حَيَاتِي وَ بَعْدَ مَوْتِي وَ لَا تَجْعَلْ لِلشَّيْطَانِ فِيهِ شِرْكاً وَ لَا نَصِيباً

(The book) ‘Al Hidaya’ –

‘When the man intends to get married, let him pray two units Salat and raise his hand asking Allah^-azwj Mighty and Majestic, and he should say, ‘O Allah^-azwj! I intend to get married, so Facilitate for me from the women, their most excellent of manners, and their most chaste of honour, and most protective for me regarding herself and my wealth, and their vastest of sustenance, and their mightiest of Blessing, and Ordain for me a good child from her. Make him a righteous successor during my lifetime and after my death, and do not Make for the Satan^-la an association in it nor a share!’’^[23]

The Three Bounties a Momin Enjoys:

– ل، الخصال ابْنُ الْوَلِيدِ عَنْ سَعْدٍ عَنِ ابْنِ يَزِيدَ عَنِ الْحَسَنِ بْنِ عَلِيِّ بْنِ زِيَادٍ عَنِ الْحَلَبِيِّ قَالَ قَالَ أَبُو عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع‏ ثَلَاثَةُ أَشْيَاءَ لَا يُحَاسِبُ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهَا الْمُؤْمِنَ طَعَامٌ يَأْكُلُهُ وَ ثَوْبٌ يَلْبَسُهُ وَ زَوْجَةٌ صَالِحَةٌ تُعَاوِنُهُ وَ تُحْصِنُ فَرْجَهُ‏

(The book) ‘Al Khisaal’ – Ibn Al Waleed, from Sa’ad, from Ibn Yazeed, from Al-Hassan Bin Ali Bin Ziyad, from Al Halby who said,

‘Abu Abdullah^-asws said: ‘Three things Allah^-azwj will not Reckon the Momin upon these – the food he eats, and clothes he wears, and a righteous wife supporting him and protecting his private parts’.^[24]

Four features in Ladies:

عَلِيُّ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ عَنْ أَبِيهِ عَنِ النَّوْفَلِيِّ عَنِ السَّكُونِيِّ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ( عليه السلام ) قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ( صلى الله عليه وآله ) أَوْ قَالَ أَمِيرُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ ( صلوات الله عليه ) النِّسَاءُ أَرْبَعٌ جَامِعٌ مُجْمِعٌ وَ رَبِيعٌ مُرْبِعٌ وَ كَرْبٌ مُقْمِعٌ وَ غُلٌّ قَمِلٌ

Ali Bin Ibrahim, from his father, from Al nowfaly, from Al Sakuny,

(It has been narrated) from Abu Abdullah^-asws having said: (it was said) either by ‘Rasool-Allah^-saww or ‘Amir Al-Momineen^-asws: ‘Four features are amalgamated in women, the goodness, and a desire for children, and a tint of anguish, and the dominance’.^[25]

A man desiring to marry a lady:

حُمَيْدُ بْنُ زِيَادٍ عَنِ الْحَسَنِ بْنِ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ سَمَاعَةَ عَنْ عَلِيِّ بْنِ الْحَسَنِ بْنِ رِبَاطٍ عَنْ حَبِيبٍ الْخَثْعَمِيِّ عَنِ ابْنِ أَبِي يَعْفُورٍ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ( عليه السلام ) قَالَ قُلْتُ لَهُ إِنِّي أُرِيدُ أَنْ أَتَزَوَّجَ امْرَأَةً وَ إِنَّ أَبَوَيَّ أَرَادَا غَيْرَهَا قَالَ تَزَوَّجِ الَّتِي هَوِيتَ وَ دَعِ الَّتِي يَهْوَى أَبَوَاكَ

Humeyd Bin Ziyad, from Al Hassan Bin Muhammad Bin Sama’at, from Ali Bin Al Hassan Bin Rabaat, from Habeeb Al Khash’amy, from Ibn Abu Yafour,

Imam Abu Abdullah^-asws (6^th Imam) said, ‘I said to him^-asws, ‘I want to marry a woman, but my parents want (me to marry) someone else’. The 6^th Imam^-asws said: ‘Marry the one, who (you) desire and leave the one whom your parents desire’.^[26]

A lady desiring to marry a man:

عِدَّةٌ مِنْ أَصْحَابِنَا عَنْ سَهْلِ بْنِ زِيَادٍ عَنْ أَحْمَدَ بْنِ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ أَبِي نَصْرٍ عَنْ دَاوُدَ بْنِ سِرْحَانَ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ( عليه السلام ) فِي رَجُلٍ يُرِيدُ أَنْ يُزَوِّجَ أُخْتَهُ قَالَ يُؤَامِرُهَا فَإِنْ سَكَتَتْ فَهُوَ إِقْرَارُهَا وَ إِنْ أَبَتْ لَمْ يُزَوِّجْهَا وَ إِنْ قَالَتْ زَوِّجْنِي فُلَاناً فَلْيُزَوِّجْهَا مِمَّنْ تَرْضَى وَ الْيَتِيمَةُ فِي حِجْرِ الرَّجُلِ لَا يُزَوِّجْهَا إِلَّا بِرِضَاهَا

A number of our companions, from Sahl Bin Ziyad, from Ahmad Bin Muhammad Bin Abu Nasr, from Dawood Bin Sirham,

(It has been narrated) from Abu Abdullah^-asws regarding a man who wants to get his sister married off. He^-asws said: ‘He can permit it, so if she remains silent, so it is her agreement, but if she refuses, he cannot get her married; and if she says, ‘Get me married to so and so’, so let him get married to the one she is pleased with; and (as for) the orphan who is in the care of the man, he cannot get her married off except by her consent’.^[27]

عَلِيُّ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ عَنْ أَبِيهِ عَنِ ابْنِ أَبِي عُمَيْرٍ عَنْ حَمَّادِ بْنِ عُثْمَانَ عَنِ الْحَلَبِيِّ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ( عليه السلام ) فِي الْجَارِيَةِ يُزَوِّجُهَا أَبُوهَا بِغَيْرِ رِضًا مِنْهَا قَالَ لَيْسَ لَهَا مَعَ أَبِيهَا أَمْرٌ إِذَا أَنْكَحَهَا جَازَ نِكَاحُهُ وَ إِنْ كَانَتْ كَارِهَةً

Ali Bin Ibrahim, from his father, from Ibn Abu Umeyr, from Hammad Bin Usman, from Al Halby,

(It has been narrated) from Abu Abdullah^-asws regarding the girl getting married off by her father without her consent. He^-asws said: ‘There is no command with her with her father. If he was to get her married off, the marriage would be allowed, even if she dislikes it’.

قَالَ وَ سُئِلَ عَنْ رَجُلٍ يُرِيدُ أَنْ يُزَوِّجَ أُخْتَهُ قَالَ يُؤَامِرُهَا فَإِنْ سَكَتَتْ فَهُوَ إِقْرَارُهَا وَ إِنْ أَبَتْ لَمْ يُزَوِّجْهَا

He (the narrator) said, ‘And he^-asws was asked about a man who wanted to get his sister married off. He^-asws said: ‘He can permit her, and if she remains silent, so it is her agreement, but if she refuses, he cannot get her married’.^[28]

Seeking Marriage Proposal:

وَ يُسْتَحَبُّ أَنْ يَخْطُبَ بِخُطْبَةِ الرِّضَا ع تَبَرُّكاً بِهَا لِأَنَّهَا جَامِعَةٌ فِي مَعْنَاهَا وَ هُوَ

And it is recommended to address with the sermon of Al-Reza^-asws to be Blessed by it, because it is comprehensive in its meaning, and it is: –

 الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ الَّذِي حَمِدَ فِي الْكِتَابِ نَفْسَهُ وَ افْتَتَحَ بِالْحَمْدِ كِتَابَهُ وَ جَعَلَ الْحَمْدَ أَوَّلَ مَحَلِّ نِعْمَتِهِ وَ آخِرَ جَزَاءِ أَهْلِ طَاعَتِهِ وَ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ خَيْرِ الْبَرِيَّةِ وَ عَلَى آلِهِ أَئِمَّةِ الرَّحْمَةِ وَ مَعَادِنِ الحِكْمَةِ

‘The Praise is for Allah^-azwj Who Praised Himself in the Book and Began His^-azwj Book with the Praise, and Made the Praise and Made praise the first of His^-azwj bounties and the final Reward for the ones obeying Him^-azwj, and may Allah^-azwj Send Salawaat upon Muhammad^-saww, the best of created beings, and upon his^-saww Progeny^-asws, the Imams^-asws of mercy and the mines of wisdom!

 وَ الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ الَّذِي كَانَ فِي نَبَئِهِ الصَّادِقِ وَ كِتَابِهِ النَّاطِقِ أَنَّ مِنْ أَحَقِّ الْأَسْبَابِ بِالصِّلَةِ وَ أَوْلَى الْأُمُورِ بِالتَّقْدِمَةِ سَبَباً أَوْجَبَ نَسَباً وَ أَمْراً أَعْقَبَ غِنًى

And the Praise is for Allah^-azwj Who was the Truthful in His^-azwj news, and His^-azwj speaking Book of the most rightful of the cause for bonds to be maintained, and the most worthy of being prioritised is a bond that becomes obligatory through lineage and a matter that brings about richness.

فَقَالَ جَلَّ ثَنَاؤُهُ‏ وَ هُوَ الَّذِي خَلَقَ مِنَ الْماءِ بَشَراً فَجَعَلَهُ نَسَباً وَ صِهْراً وَ كانَ رَبُّكَ قَدِيراً وَ قَالَ جَلَّ ثَنَاؤُهُ‏ وَ أَنْكِحُوا الْأَيامى‏ مِنْكُمْ وَ الصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبادِكُمْ وَ إِمائِكُمْ إِنْ يَكُونُوا فُقَراءَ يُغْنِهِمُ اللَّهُ مِنْ فَضْلِهِ وَ اللَّهُ واسِعٌ عَلِيمٌ‏

He^-azwj, Majestic is His^-azwj Laudation, Said: And He it is Who Created a person from the water, so He Made for him relationships of lineage and marriage; and your Lord was always Powerful [25:54]. And, Majestic is His^-azwj Laudation, Said: And marry the single ones from you, and the righteous ones from your slaves and maids. If they happen to be poor, Allah would Enrich them from His Grace, and Allah is Capacious, Knowing [24:32].

 وَ لَوْ لَمْ تَكُنْ فِي الْمُنَاكَحَةِ وَ الْمُصَاهَرَةِ آيَةٌ مُنْزَلَةٌ وَ لَا سُنَّةٌ مُتَّبَعَةٌ لَكَانَ مَا جَعَلَ اللَّهُ فِيهِ مِنْ بِرِّ الْقَرِيبِ وَ تَأَلُّفِ الْبَعِيدِ مَا رَغِبَ فِيهِ الْعَاقِلُ اللَّبِيبُ وَ سَارَعَ إِلَيْهِ الْمُوَفَّقُ الْمُصِيبُ

And even if there had not been a Revealed Verse regarding the marriages and the relationships, nor a Sunnah to be followed, whatever Allah^-azwj has Made in it of kindness to relatives and the bonding of distant ones would be enough to make the intelligent and wise desire it and the guided and successful hasten toward it.

فَأَوْلَى النَّاسِ بِاللَّهِ مَنِ اتَّبَعَ أَمْرَهُ وَ أَنْفَذَ حُكْمَهُ وَ أَمْضَى قَضَاءَهُ وَ رَجَا جَزَاءَهُ وَ نَحْنُ نَسْأَلُ اللَّهَ تَعَالَى أَنْ يَعْزِمَ لَنَا وَ لَكُمْ عَلَى أَوْفَقِ الْأُمُورِ

The foremost of the people with Allah^-azwj is the one who obeys His^-azwj Commands, and implements His^-azwj Judgment, and carry out His^-azwj Decree, and hope for His^-azwj Reward. We ask Allah^-azwj the Exalted, to Guide us and you to what is most proper and suitable.

ثُمَّ إِنَّ فُلَانَ بْنَ فُلَانٍ مَنْ قَدْ عَرَفْتُمْ مُرُوءَتَهُ وَ عَقْلَهُ وَ صَلَاحَهُ وَ نِيَّتَهُ وَ فَضْلَهُ وَ قَدْ أَحَبَّ شِرْكَتَكُمْ وَ خَطَبَ كَرِيمَتَكُمْ فُلَانَةَ وَ بَذَلَ لَهَا مِنَ الصَّدَاقِ كَذَا فَشَفِّعُوا شَافِعَكُمْ وَ أَنْكِحُوا خَاطِبَكُمْ فِي يُسْرٍ غَيْرِ عُسْرٍ أَقُولُ قَوْلِي هَذَا وَ أَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهَ‏ لِي وَ لَكُمْ

Indeed, so-and-so, the son of so-and-so, whose dignity, intellect, righteousness, intention, and virtue you already know, has desired to join your family and has proposed to your noble daughter, so-and-so, and has offered her such-and-such as a dowry. So, support the one who seeks your approval, and marry your daughter to the one who has proposed, in ease and not in hardship. I say these words and seek the Forgiveness of Allah^-azwj for myself and for you!’’^[29]

Respecting ladies:

عِدَّةٌ مِنْ أَصْحَابِنَا عَنْ سَهْلِ بْنِ زِيَادٍ عَنْ عَلِيِّ بْنِ أَسْبَاطٍ عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ الصَّبَّاحِ عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ الْحَجَّاجِ عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ مُصْعَبٍ الزُّبَيْرِيِّ قَالَ سَمِعْتُ أَبَا الْحَسَنِ مُوسَى بْنَ جَعْفَرٍ ( عليه السلام ) وَ جَلَسْنَا إِلَيْهِ فِي مَسْجِدِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ( صلى الله عليه وآله ) فَتَذَاكَرْنَا أَمْرَ النِّسَاءِ فَأَكْثَرْنَا الْخَوْضَ وَ هُوَ سَاكِتٌ لَا يَدْخُلُ فِي حَدِيثِنَا بِحَرْفٍ

A number of our companions, from Sahl Bin Ziyad, from Ali Bin Asbaat, from Muhammad Bin Al Sabbah, from Abdul Rahman Bin Al Hajjaj, from Abdullah Bin Mus’ab Al Zubeyri who said,

‘I heard Abu Al-Hassan Musa^-asws Bin Ja’far^-asws, and we were seated with him^-asws in the Masjid of Rasool-Allah^-saww, so we mentioned the matter of the women. So, we discussed a lot and the Imam^-asws was silent, not entering into our discussion with a single word.

فَلَمَّا سَكَتْنَا قَالَ أَمَّا الْحَرَائِرُ فَلَا تَذْكُرُوهُنَّ وَ لَكِنْ  خَيْرُ الْجَوَارِي مَا كَانَ لَكَ فِيهَا هَوًى وَ كَانَ لَهَا عَقْلٌ وَ أَدَبٌ فَلَسْتَ تَحْتَاجُ إِلَى أَنْ تَأْمُرَ وَ لَا تَنْهَى

So, when we were silent, he^-asws said: ‘As for the free ones, so you should not be mentioning them, but the best of the slave girls is the one whom you love and for her is an intellect, and manners, so you would neither be needy to instruct her nor prohibit her.

وَ دُونَ ذَلِكَ مَا كَانَ لَكَ فِيهَا هَوًى وَ لَيْسَ لَهَا أَدَبٌ فَأَنْتَ تَحْتَاجُ إِلَى الْأَمْرِ وَ النَّهْيِ وَ دُونَهَا مَا كَانَ لَكَ فِيهَا هَوًى وَ لَيْسَ لَهَا عَقْلٌ وَ لَا أَدَبٌ فَتَصْبِرُ عَلَيْهَا لِمَكَانِ هَوَاكَ فِيهَا وَ جَارِيَةٌ لَيْسَ لَكَ فِيهَا هَوًى وَ لَيْسَ لَهَا عَقْلٌ وَ لَا أَدَبٌ فَتَجْعَلُ فِيمَا بَيْنَكَ وَ بَيْنَهَا الْبَحْرَ الْأَخْضَرَ

And lower than that (from slave girls) is the one whom you love but she does not have oral discipline and you need to command and prohibit; and lower than her is the one whom you do not love and there is no intellect for her nor any manners, so you observe patience upon her in place of your passion regarding her; and a slave girl for whom there is no passion for you regarding her, and there is no intellect for her, nor any manners, so you should make the green ocean to be between you and her’.

قَالَ فَأَخَذْتُ بِلِحْيَتِي أُرِيدُ أَنْ أُضْرِطَ فِيهَا لِكَثْرَةِ خَوْضِنَا لِمَا لَمْ نَقُمْ فِيهِ عَلَى شَيْ‏ءٍ وَ لِجَمْعِهِ الْكَلَامَ فَقَالَ لِي مَهْ إِنْ فَعَلْتَ لَمْ أُجَالِسْكَ

He (the narrator) said, ‘So I grabbed my beard intending that I make a loud sound (via mouth an arrogant/stupid call) because of the abundance of our discussion and not standing therein upon anything, and due to his^-asws comprehensive speech’. So he^-asws said to me: ‘Shh! If you do it, I will not sit with you’.^[30]

The Sunnah Dowry:

The sunnah dowry was extremely affordable, and it cannot be considered equivalent to the purchasing of a wife, as it was prevalent in those days, e.g.,

ثُمَّ إِنَّ مُحَمَّدَ بْنَ عَلِيِّ بْنِ مُوسَى يَخْطُبُ أُمَّ الْفَضْلِ ابْنَةَ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ الْمَأْمُونِ وَ قَدْ بَذَلَ لَهَا مِنَ الصَّدَاقِ مَهْرَ جَدَّتِهِ فَاطِمَةَ بِنْتِ مُحَمَّدٍ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَ عَلَيْهَا وَ هُوَ خَمْسُمِائَةِ دِرْهَمٍ جِيَاداً فَهَلْ زَوَّجْتَهُ يَا أَمِيرَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ عَلَى الصَّدَاقِ الْمَذْكُورِ

(In a lengthy Hadith): Then, Muhammad^-asws Bin Ali^-asws Bin Musa^-asws hereby proposes to Umm Al-Fazl daughter of Abdullah Bin Al-Mamoun, and he spends for her from the dowry, a dower of his^-asws grandmother^-asws (Syeda) Fatima^-asws daughter of Muhammad^-saww! May the Salawaat of Allah^-azwj be upon him^-saww and upon her^-asws, and it is five hundred Dirhams. Do you get him^-asws married, O commander of the faithful, based upon the mentioned dowry?’

 قَالَ الْمَأْمُونُ نَعَمْ قَدْ زَوَّجْتُكَ يَا أَبَا جَعْفَرٍ أُمَّ الْفَضْلِ ابْنَتِي عَلَى الصَّدَاقِ الْمَذْكُورِ فَهَلْ قَبِلْتَ النِّكَاحَ

Al-Mamoun said, ‘Yes, I do get you^-asws married, O Abu Ja’far^-asws, to my daughter Umm Al-Fazl, based upon the mentioned dowry! Do you^-asws accept the marriage?’

قَالَ أَبُو جَعْفَرٍ ع نَعَمْ قَبِلْتُ النِّكَاحَ وَ رَضِيتُ بِهِ

Abu Ja’far^-asws said: ‘Yes, I have accepted the marriage and am pleased with it!’’^[31]

NB: In the Prophet Mohammed^-saww era, five hundred Dirhams is equivalent today to approximately 1,487.5 grams of silver. Given that 1 Dirham is about 2.975 grams of silver, this means that five hundred Dirhams would be worth around 1,487.5 grams of silver.[32] as per today it is (£1.87/gram) is £2,782.

Seek the Choice of Allah^-azwj (Istikhara) before getting married:

 ضا، فقه الرضا عليه السلام‏ إِذَا أَرَدْتَ التَّزْوِيجَ فَاسْتَخِرْ فَامْضِ ثُمَّ صَلِّ رَكْعَتَيْنِ وَ ارْفَعْ يَدَيْكَ وَ قُلِ اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أُرِيدُ التَّزْوِيجَ فَسَهِّلْ لِي مِنَ النِّسَاءِ أَحْسَنَهُنَّ خُلُقاً وَ خَلْقاً

(The book) ‘Fiqh Al-Reza^-asws’, may the greeting be upon him^-asws – ‘When you want to get married, seek the Choice (of Allah^-azwj) and continue. Then pray two units Salat and raise (your voice) with that and say, ‘O Allah^-azwj! I want to get married, so Facilitate for me from the women, their best in manners and creation…!’(an extract).^[33]

Never marry to the one who takes intoxicants:

تفسير القمي عَنْ أَبِيهِ عَنِ ابْنِ أَبِي عُمَيْرٍ عَنْ أَبِي بَصِيرٍ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ص‏ شَارِبَ الْخَمْرِ لَا تُصَدِّقُوهُ إِذَا حَدَّثَ وَ لَا تُزَوِّجُوهُ إِذَا خَطَبَ وَ لَا تَعُودُوهُ إِذَا مَرِضَ وَ لَا تَحْضُرُوهُ إِذَا مَاتَ وَ لَا تَأْتَمِنُوهُ عَلَى أَمَانَةٍ

Tafseer Al Qummi – from his father, from Ibn Abu Umeyr, from Abu Baseer,

‘From Abu Abdullah^-asws having said: ‘Rasool-Allah^-saww said: ‘Drinker of the wine, neither ratify him when he narrates, nor marry to him when he proposes, nor console him when he is sick, nor attend him when he dies, nor entrust him upon an entrustment.

فَمَنِ ائْتَمَنَهُ عَلَى أَمَانَةٍ فَاسْتَهْلَكَهَا فَلَيْسَ لَهُ عَلَى اللَّهِ أَنْ يُخْلِفَ عَلَيْهِ وَ لَا أَنْ يَأْجُرَهُ عَلَيْهَا لِأَنَّ اللَّهَ يَقُولُ‏ وَ لا تُؤْتُوا السُّفَهاءَ أَمْوالَكُمُ‏ وَ أَيُّ سَفِيهٍ أَسْفَهُ مِنْ شَارِبِ الْخَمْر

The one who entrusts him upon an entrustment, so he destroys it, there wouldn’t be for him upon Allah^-azwj to Replace upon it, nor to Recompense upon it, because Allah^-azwj Says: And do not give your wealth to the foolish [4:5] – and which foolish one is more foolish than a drinker of wine?’’^[34]

Wife has to be nourished by her Husband:

عِدَّةٌ مِنْ أَصْحَابِنَا عَنْ سَهْلِ بْنِ زِيَادٍ عَنْ عَلِيِّ بْنِ أَسْبَاطٍ عَنْ عَمِّهِ يَعْقُوبَ بْنِ سَالِمٍ عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ مُسْلِمٍ قَالَ قَالَ أَبُو جَعْفَرٍ ( عليه السلام ) أَتَى رَجُلٌ النَّبِيَّ ( صلى الله عليه وآله ) يَسْتَأْمِرُهُ فِي النِّكَاحِ فَقَالَ لَهُ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ( صلى الله عليه وآله ) انْكِحْ وَ عَلَيْكَ بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ تَرِبَتْ يَدَاكَ

A number of our companions, from Sahl Bin Ziyad, form Ali Bin Asbaat, from his uncle Yaqoub Bin Salim, from Muhammad Bin Muslim who said,

‘Abu Ja’far^-asws said: ‘A man came over to the Prophet^-saww for instructions regarding the marriage. So Rasool-Allah^-saww said: ‘Marry, and upon you is to (marry the one with) the Religion, to be nourished by your hands’.^[35]

Never marry for wealth nor for beauty:

عَلِيُّ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ عَنْ أَبِيهِ وَ مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ إِسْمَاعِيلَ عَنِ الْفَضْلِ بْنِ شَاذَانَ جَمِيعاً عَنِ ابْنِ أَبِي عُمَيْرٍ عَنْ هِشَامِ بْنِ الْحَكَمِ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ( عليه السلام ) قَالَ إِذَا تَزَوَّجَ الرَّجُلُ الْمَرْأَةَ لِجَمَالِهَا أَوْ مَالِهَا وُكِلَ إِلَى ذَلِكَ وَ إِذَا تَزَوَّجَهَا لِدِينِهَا رَزَقَهُ اللَّهُ الْجَمَالَ وَ الْمَالَ

Ali Bin Ibrahim, from his father and Muhammad Bin Ismail, from AL Fazl Bin ShAzaan, altogether from Ibn Abu Umeyr, from Hisham Bin Al Hakam,

(It has been narrated) from Abu Abdullah^-asws having said: ‘When the man marries the woman due to her beauty, or her wealth, he would be left alone to those (without attaining any of these), and when he marries her for her Religion, Allah^-azwj will Grace to him the beauty (in his wife) as well as the wealth’.^[36]

A Lady may be sent to look at a proposed one prior to marriage:

عِدَّةٌ مِنْ أَصْحَابِنَا عَنْ أَحْمَدَ بْنِ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ عَنْ بَعْضِ أَصْحَابِنَا رَفَعَ الْحَدِيثَ قَالَ كَانَ النَّبِيُّ ( صلى الله عليه وآله ) إِذَا أَرَادَ تَزْوِيجَ امْرَأَةٍ بَعَثَ مَنْ يَنْظُرُ إِلَيْهَا وَ يَقُولُ لِلْمَبْعُوثَةِ شَمِّي لِيتَهَا فَإِنْ طَابَ لِيتُهَا طَابَ عَرْفُهَا وَ انْظُرِي كَعْبَهَا فَإِنْ دَرِمَ كَعْبُهَا عَظُمَ كَعْثَبُهَا

A number of our companions, from Ahmad Bin Abu Abdullah, from one of our companions raising the Hadeeth,

‘He^-asws said: ‘Whenever the Prophet^-saww intended to marry a woman, sent over a woman to look at her and he^-saww was saying to the sent woman: ‘’Smell her if she likes a scent, for if her scent is pleasant, her marriage will be pleasant; and look at her heel, for if her heel is full, her ankle will be strong’.^[37]

Never marry a lady to an ill-mannered man:

مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ يَحْيَى عَنْ أَحْمَدَ بْنِ مُحَمَّدٍ عَنْ يَعْقُوبَ بْنِ يَزِيدَ عَنِ الْحُسَيْنِ بْنِ بَشَّارٍ الْوَاسِطِيِّ قَالَ كَتَبْتُ إِلَى أَبِي الْحَسَنِ الرِّضَا ( عليه السلام ) أَنَّ لِي قَرَابَةً قَدْ خَطَبَ إِلَيَّ وَ فِي خُلُقِهِ شَيْ‏ءٌ فَقَالَ لَا تُزَوِّجْهُ إِنْ كَانَ سَيِّئَ الْخُلُقِ

Muhammad Biin Yahya, from Ahmad Bin Muhammad, from Yaqoub Bin Yazeed, from Al Husayn Bin Bashaar Al Wasity who said,

‘I wrote to Abu Al-Hassan Al-Reza^-asws, ‘There is a relative of mine who has sent a proposal to me, and in his mannerisms, there is something (bad)’. So he^-asws said: ‘Do not give in marriage to him if there was evilness in the mannerisms’.^[38]

Care must be taken to whom one weds his daughter/sister to:

الأمالي للشيخ الطوسي بِإِسْنَادِ الْمُجَاشِعِيِّ عَنِ الصَّادِقِ عَنْ آبَائِهِ ع قَالَ قَالَ النَّبِيُّ ص‏ إِنَّمَا النِّكَاحُ رِقٌّ فَإِذَا أَنْكَحَ أَحَدُكُمْ وَلِيدَةً فَقَدْ أَرَقَّهَا فَلْيَنْظُرْ أَحَدُكُمْ لِمَنْ يُرِقُّ كَرِيمَتَهُ

(The book) ‘Al Amali’ of the sheykh Al Tusi – By a chain of Al Mujashie,

‘From Al-Sadiq^-asws, from his^-asws forefather^-asws having said: ‘The Prophet^-saww said: ‘But rather, the marriage is a form of servitude (submission). So, when one of you gives his daughter in marriage, he has placed her in servitude; therefore, let each one of you look carefully to whom he is placing his noble daughter in servitude.^[39]

Imam^-asws says: Do not get her married to but with the one on her views:

ين، كتاب حسين بن سعيد و النوادر صَفْوَانُ عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ بُكَيْرٍ عَنِ الْفُضَيْلِ بْنِ يَسَارٍ قَالَ: قُلْتُ لِأَبِي جَعْفَرٍ ع إِنَّ لِامْرَأَتِي أُخْتاً مُسْلِمَةً لَا بَأْسَ بِرَأْيِهَا وَ لَيْسَ بِالْبَصْرَةِ أَحَدٌ فَمَا تَرَى فِي تَزْوِيجِهَا مِنَ النَّاسِ

The book of Haseen Bin Saeed, and ‘Al Nawadir’ – Safwan, from Abdullah Bin Bukeyr, from Al Fuzeyl Bin Yasaar who said,

‘I said to Abu Ja’far^-asws, ‘My wife has a Muslim sister. There is no problem with her views (she has good faith), and there isn’t anyone like her at Al-Basra, so what is your^-asws view in getting her married to the people?’

فَقَالَ لَا تُزَوِّجْهَا إِلَّا مِمَّنْ هُوَ عَلَى رَأْيِهَا وَ تَزْوِيجُ الْمَرْأَةِ الَّتِي لَيْسَتْ بِنَاصِبَةٍ لَا بَأْسَ بِهِ

He^-asws said: ‘Do not get her married except to the one being upon her views, and marrying the woman who isn’t hostile (Nasibi), there is no problem with it’.^[40]

Never marry a woman from the people of the Book, nor upon a Muslim Wife:

ين، كتاب حسين بن سعيد و النوادر صَفْوَانُ عَنِ ابْنِ مُسْكَانَ عَنِ الْحَسَنِ بْنِ زِيَادٍ قَالَ قَالَ أَبُو عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع‏ لَا تَتَزَوَّجِ النَّصْرَانِيَّةَ وَ لَا الْيَهُودِيَّةَ عَلَى الْمُسْلِمَةِ فَمَنْ فَعَلَ ذَلِكَ فَنِكَاحُهُ بَاطِلٌ

The book of Haseen Bin Saeed, and ‘Al Nawadir’ – Safwan, from Ibn Muskan, from Al Hassan Bin Ziyad who said,

‘Abu Abdullah^-asws said: ‘Neither marry the Christian woman nor the Jewess upon the Muslim woman. The one who does that, his marriage is invalid.^[41]

ين، كتاب حسين بن سعيد و النوادر صَفْوَانُ عَنِ الْعَلَاءِ عَنْ مُحَمَّدٍ عَنْ أَبِي جَعْفَرٍ ع قَالَ: لَا تَتَزَوَّجِ الْيَهُودِيَّةَ وَ النَّصْرَانِيَّةَ عَلَى الْمُسْلِمَةِ

The book of Haseen Bin Saeed, and ‘Al Nawadir’ – Safwan, from Al A’ala, from Muhammad,

‘From Abu Ja’far^-asws having said: ‘Neither marry the Jewess nor the Christian woman upon the Muslim woman’.^[42]

A Syedani is not a Match for a Non-Syed:

This topic is discussed in detail elsewhere, as above, a marriage has to be a match, as in the link below:

https://hubeali.com/article/marriage-of-syedani-with-non-syed

We present one Hadith below, where Imam Sadiq^-asws emphasises the importance of the ‘Kuf’ (match).

 قب، المناقب لابن شهرآشوب قَالَ بَعْضُ الْخَوَارِجِ لِهِشَامِ بْنِ الْحَكَمِ‏ الْعَجَمُ تَتَزَوَّجُ فِي الْعَرَبِ

(The book) ‘Al Manaqib’ of Ibn Shehr Ashub –

‘One of the Kharijites said to Hisham Bin Al-Hakam, ‘The non-Arab marries among the Arabs’.

 قَالَ نَعَمْ

He said, ‘Yes’.

 قَالَ فَالْعَرَبُ تَتَزَوَّجُ فِي قُرَيْشٍ

He said, ‘The Arab marrying into Qureysh?’

 قَالَ نَعَمْ

He said, ‘Yes’.

 قَالَ فَقُرَيْشٌ تَتَزَوَّجُ فِي بَنِي هَاشِمٍ

He said, ‘Qureysh marrying into the clan of Hashim^-as?’

 قَالَ نَعَمْ

He said, ‘Yes’.

فَجَاءَ الْخَارِجِيُّ إِلَى الصَّادِقِ ع فَقَصَّ عَلَيْهِ ثُمَّ قَالَ أَ سَمِعَهُ مِنْكَ

The Kharijite came to Al-Sadiq^-asws and narrated the story to him^-asws, then said, ‘Can I hear it from you^-asws?’

 فَقَالَ ع نَعَمْ فَقَدْ قُلْتُ ذَاكَ

He^-asws said: ‘Yes, I^-asws have said that!’

قَالَ الْخَارِجِيُّ فَهَا أَنَا ذَا قَدْ جِئْتُكَ خَاطِباً

The Kharijite said, ‘So here I am having come to you^-asws as a proposer!’

فَقَالَ لَهُ أَبُو عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع إِنَّكَ لَكُفْوٌ فِي دِينِكَ وَ حَسَبُكَ فِي قَوْمِكَ وَ لَكِنَّ اللَّهَ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ صَانَنَا عَنِ الصَّدَقَاتِ وَ هِيَ أَوْسَاخُ أَيْدِي النَّاسِ فَنَكْرَهُ أَنْ نُشْرِكَ فِيمَا فَضَّلَنَا اللَّهُ بِهِ مَنْ لَمْ يَجْعَلِ اللَّهُ لَهُ مِثْلَ مَا جَعَلَ لَنَا

Abu Abdullah^-asws said to him: ‘You are a match in your religion and it suffices you in your people, but Allah^-azwj Mighty and Majestic has Protected us^-asws from the charities, and these are filth of hands of the people. Thus, in what Allah^-azwj had Merited us^-asws with, we^-asws dislike to participate someone Allah^-azwj has not Made for him similar to what He^-azwj has Made for us^-asws!’

 فَقَامَ الْخَارِجِيُّ وَ هُوَ يَقُولُ بِاللَّهِ مَا رَأَيْتُ رَجُلًا مِثْلَهُ رَدَّنِي وَ اللَّهِ أَقْبَحَ رَدٍّ وَ مَا خَرَجَ مِنْ قَوْلِ صَاحِبِهِ

The Kharijite stood up and he was saying, ‘By Allah^-azwj, I have not seen a man like him^-asws! He^-asws rejected me, by Allah^-azwj, with ugliest of rejections, and did not go out from the words of his^-asws companion!’’^[43]

Supplication after getting married:

عَنْهُ عَنْ أَبِي يُوسُفَ عَنِ الْمِيثَمِيِّ رَفَعَهُ قَالَ أَتَى رَجُلٌ أَمِيرَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ ( عليه السلام ) فَقَالَ لَهُ إِنِّي تَزَوَّجْتُ فَادْعُ اللَّهَ لِي فَقَالَ قُلِ اللَّهُمَّ بِكَلِمَاتِكَ اسْتَحْلَلْتُهَا وَ بِأَمَانَتِكَ أَخَذْتُهَا اللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلْهَا وَلُوداً وَدُوداً لَا تَفْرَكُ تَأْكُلُ مِمَّا رَاحَ وَ لَا تَسْأَلُ عَمَّا سَرَحَ

From him, from Abu Yusuf, from Al Maysami, raising it, said,

‘A man came over to Amir Al-Momineen^-asws, so he said to him^-asws, ‘I have got married, therefore supplicate to Allah^-azwj for me’. So he^-asws said: ‘Say, ‘O Allah^-azwj! With Your^-azwj words, I have permitted her, and with Your^-azwj Security I take her. O Allah^-azwj! Make her child-bearing, cordial, not separating, consuming from what is comfortable, and not asking about what is not available.^[44]

The Wedding Meal:

سن، المحاسن بَعْضُ الْعِرَاقِيِّينَ عَنْ إِبْرَاهِيمَ عَنْ عُقْبَةَ عَنْ جَعْفَرٍ الْقَلَانِسِيِّ عَنْ أَبِيهِ قَالَ: قُلْتُ لِأَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع إِنَّا نَتَّخِذُ الطَّعَامَ وَ نُجَيِّدُهُ وَ نَتَنَوَّقُ فِيهِ فَلَا يَكُونُ لَهُ رَائِحَةُ طَعَامِ الْعُرْسِ

(The book) ‘Al Mahasin’ – One of the Iraqis, from Ibrahim, from Uqba, from Ja’far Al Qalanisy, from his father who said,

‘I said to Abu Abdullah^-asws, ‘We take the food, make it exquisite, and decorate it, yet it does not have the aroma of the wedding food’.

 قَالَ ذَلِكَ لِأَنَّ طَعَامَ الْعُرْسِ تَهُبُّ فِيهِ رَائِحَةُ الْجَنَّةِ لِأَنَّهُ طَعَامٌ اتُّخِذَ لِحَلَالٍ

He^-asws said: ‘That is because the wedding meal, the aroma of Paradise is blown into it, because food has been prepared for the Permissible (occasion)’’.^[45]

Appendix I: Can a Man look at the lady with the Intention of marriage:

The Ahadith, below are about the price of a woman, as Muslims used to buy maids in those days to get married, e.g., See a Hadith below from Al-Kafi, Vol. 5.

عَلِيُّ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ عَنْ أَبِيهِ عَنِ ابْنِ أَبِي عُمَيْرٍ عَنْ أَبِي أَيُّوبَ الْخَزَّازِ عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ مُسْلِمٍ قَالَ سَأَلْتُ أَبَا جَعْفَرٍ ( عليه السلام ) عَنِ الرَّجُلِ يُرِيدُ أَنْ يَتَزَوَّجَ الْمَرْأَةَ أَ يَنْظُرُ إِلَيْهَا قَالَ نَعَمْ إِنَّمَا يَشْتَرِيهَا بِأَغْلَى الثَّمَنِ

Ali Bin Ibrahim, from his father, from Ibn Abu Umeyr, from Abu Ayoub Al Khazzaz, from Muhammad Bin Muslim who said,

‘I asked Abu Ja’far^-asws about the man who intends to marry the woman, can he look at her?’ He^-asws said: ‘Yes. But rather, he is buying her at the highest price.^[46]

Appendix II: Additional Ahadith on Marriage

Some Additional Ahadith, related to marriage proposals are cited below:

Rasool Allah^-saww mostly Married Women when proposed:

سن، المحاسن الْوَشَّاءُ عَنْ أَبِي الْحَسَنِ الرِّضَا ع يَقُولُ‏ إِنَّ النَّجَاشِيَّ لَمَّا خَطَبَ لِرَسُولِ اللَّهِ ص أُمَّ حَبِيبَةَ آمِنَةَ بِنْتَ أَبِي سُفْيَانَ فَزَوَّجَهُ دَعَا بِطَعَامٍ وَ قَالَ إِنَّ مِنْ سُنَنِ الْمُرْسَلِينَ الْإِطْعَامَ عِنْدَ التَّزْوِيجِ

(The book) ‘Al Mahasin’ – Al Washa,

‘From Abu Al-Hassan Al-Reza^-asws, he^-asws said: ‘When Al-Najashi brought the proposal to Rasool-Allah^-saww of Umm Habeeba Aamina Bint Abu Sufyan, he^-saww married her. He^-saww called for the meal and said, ‘It is from the practice of the Messengers^-as to feed after the marriage’.^[47]

Marriage Condition of Prophet Ibrahim^-as and Sarah^-as was they will not Oppose each on the Truth:

وَ قَالَ إِنَّ إِبْرَاهِيمَ ع تَزَوَّجَ سَارَةَ وَ كَانَتْ مِنْ أَوْلَادِ الْأَنْبِيَاءِ عَلَى أَنْ لَا يُخَالِفَهَا وَ لَا يَعْصِيَ لَهَا أَمْراً وَ لَا تَعْصِيَ لَهُ أَمْراً فِيمَا وَافَقَ الْحَقَّ وَ إِنَّ إِبْرَاهِيمَ كَانَ يَأْتِي مَكَّةَ مِنَ الْحِيرَةِ فِي كُلِّ يَوْمٍ

And (Imam Al-Sadiq^-asws) said: ‘Ibrahim^-as married Sarah^-as, and she^-as from the children of the Prophets^-as, upon the condition that he^-as would neither oppose her^-as nor disobey any instruction of hers^-as, and she^-as will not disobey any instruction of his^-as in what is compatible with the truth; and Ibrahim^-as used to come to Makkah from Al-Heera every day’. (an extract)^[48]

The Snooping is not allowed after marriage:

مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ يَحْيَى عَنْ أَحْمَدَ بْنِ مُحَمَّدٍ عَنْ عَلِيِّ بْنِ الْحَكَمِ عَنْ عُمَرَ بْنِ حَنْظَلَةَ قَالَ قُلْتُ لِأَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ( عليه السلام ) إِنِّي تَزَوَّجْتُ امْرَأَةً فَسَأَلْتُ عَنْهَا فَقِيلَ فِيهَا فَقَالَ وَ أَنْتَ لِمَ سَأَلْتَ أَيْضاً لَيْسَ عَلَيْكُمُ التَّفْتِيشُ

Muhammad Bin Yahya,from Ahmad Bin Muhammad, from Ali Bin Al Hakam, from Umar Bin Hanzala who said,

‘I said to Abu Abdullah^-asws, ‘I married a woman, so I asked around about her, and it was said (certain things) about her’. So he^-asws said: ‘And you, why did you ask around about her as well? The investigation is not upon you’.^[49]

[1] Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) urged the one who wants to get married to look at the woman. It was narrated from al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah that he proposed marriage to a woman, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Go and look at her, because that is more likely to create love between you.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1087; classed as hasan by al-Nasaa’i, 3235)

[2] https://islamqa.info/en/answers/23420/love-marriage-or-arranged-marriage-which-is-better-in-islam

[3] Al Kafi – V 5 – The Book of Marriage Ch 16 H 4

[4] Al Kafi – V 5 – The Book of Marriage Ch 3 H 2

[5] Bihar Al-Anwaar V 101 – The Book of Contracts and Declarations – CH 91 H 1

[6] Bihar Al-Anwaar V 101 – The Book of Contracts and Declarations – CH 91 H 5 b

[7] Qasas Al Anbiya^-as – H 32 and بحار الأنوار( 11/ 262- 264)، برقم:( 11).

[8] Qasas Al Anbiya^-as – H 143 (and) بحار الأنوار( 12/ 281- 282)، برقم:( 6)،

[9] Bihar Al-Anwaar – V 43, The book of History – Fatima Al-Zahra^-asws, Ch 5 H 32 b

[10] Bihar Al-Anwaar – V 43, The book of History – Fatima Al-Zahra^-asws, Ch 5 H 35 b

[11]   Qasas Al Anbiya-as – H 100 (and) بحار الأنوار( 12/ 45- 47)، برقم:( 38) عن الكافي.

[12] Qasas Al Anbiya^-as – H 100 (and) بحار الأنوار( 12/ 45- 47)، برقم:( 38) عن الكافي.

[13] الكافي (ط – الإسلامية)، ج‏5، ص: 535, H. 2.

[14] Bihar Al-Anwaar V 100 – The Book of Contracts and Declarations – CH 61 H 13

[15] Bihar Al-Anwaar V 101 – The Book of Contracts and Declarations – CH 91 H 7

[16] الكافي (ط – الإسلامية)، ج‏5، ص: 525, H. 2.

[17] Bihar Al-Anwaar V 101 – The Book of Contracts and Declarations – CH 91 H 4

[18] الكافي 5: 526/ 2.

[19] Bihar Al-Anwaar V 100 – The Book of Contracts and Declarations – CH 78 H 4

[20] Bihar Al-Anwaar V 100 – The Book of Contracts and Declarations – CH 78 H 3

[21] Al Kafi – V 5 – The Book of Marriage Ch 12 H 3

[22] Bihar Al-Anwaar V 100 – The Book of Contracts and Declarations – CH 63 H 1

[23] Bihar Al-Anwaar V 100 – The Book of Contracts and Declarations – CH 63 H 19

[24] Bihar Al-Anwaar V 100 – The Book of Contracts and Declarations – CH 58 H 4

[25] Al Kafi – V 5 – The Book of Marriage Ch 3 H 1

[26] Al Kafi – V 5 – The Book of Marriage Ch 64 H 1

[27] Al Kafi – V 5 – The Book of Marriage Ch 56 H 3

[28] Al Kafi – V 5 – The Book of Marriage Ch 56 H 4

[29] Bihar Al-Anwaar V 100 – The Book of Contracts and Declarations – CH 63 H 4

[30] Al Kafi – V 5 – The Book of Marriage Ch 3 H 2

[31] Bihar Al-Anwaar V 100 – The Book of Contracts and Declarations – CH 63 H 5

[32] five hundred Dirhams of Prophet Mohammed era value in gold – Search

[33] Bihar Al-Anwaar V 100 – The Book of Contracts and Declarations – CH 60 H 15

[34] Bihar Al-Anwaar V 76 – The Book of Evil deeds – Ch 86 H 7

[35] Al Kafi – V 5 – The Book of Marriage Ch 13 H 1

[36] Al Kafi – V 5 – The Book of Marriage Ch 13 H 3

[37] Al Kafi – V 5 – The Book of Marriage Ch 16 H 4

[38] Al Kafi – V 5 – The Book of Marriage Ch 184 H 25

[39] Bihar Al-Anwaar V 100 – The Book of Contracts and Declarations – CH 78 H 2

[40] Bihar Al-Anwaar V 100 – The Book of Contracts and Declarations – CH 79 H 16

[41] Bihar Al-Anwaar V 100 – The Book of Contracts and Declarations – CH 79 H 3

[42] Bihar Al-Anwaar V 100 – The Book of Contracts and Declarations – CH 79 H 2

[43] Bihar Al-Anwaar V 100 – The Book of Contracts and Declarations – CH 78 H 12

[44] Al Kafi – V 5 – The Book of Marriage Ch 139 H 4

[45]Bihar Al-Anwaar V 100 – The Book of Contracts and Declarations – CH 63 H 44

[46] Al Kafi – V 5 – The Book of Marriage Ch 38 H 1

[47] Bihar Al-Anwaar V 100 – The Book of Contracts and Declarations – CH 63 H 42

[48] Qasas Al Anbiya^-as – H 109 (and) بحار الأنوار( 12/ 111- 112)، برقم:( 38).

[49] Al Kafi – V 5 – The Book of Marriage Ch 184 H 49